Marriage Equality

So one other thing I did for my birthday was to go to the DC Gay Pride Parade and be a part of the group of Mormons who joined it in support of marriage equality. I know this is a super controversial issue, especially among members of the church, but this is something that is very important to me and I wanted to go and show my support. I lived in Arizona during Prop 8 and Prop 102 and then in California the next year and so I have heard all of the arguments for and against. I've listened to church authorities talk about it. I've talked and thought and prayed about it myself. And my heart tells me that this is something I need to do. For me, everything comes down to just a couple of things.

1. I want to show my love and support for LGBT Mormons who are struggling to find their place in the LDS church. There has been a big move towards understanding in the last couple of years, but it definitely wasn't always like that. So many were made to feel unwelcome and unappreciated. During the parade, a couple people came tearing out of the crowd saying, "I'm a Mormon too! I can't believe you're here!" I talked to few people who had only recently started going back to church because for so long they hadn't felt like there was a place for them, but had started feeling like they needed to come back. And they had been welcomed into their wards in DC with open arms. I love that so much. I know that with the way things are right now, LGBT Mormons face some very tough decisions and I wish so much that things could be simpler. But Mormonism isn't just a religion, it's a community. There should be a place for everyone who feels like they belong with us. I'm a member of two very strong communities: Mormonism and the military. I have relied on both so much and have needed the love and support that both have to offer. So I just want my LGBT brothers and sisters to know that there are plenty of us ready willing to gather around and support them too.

2. I want to show my love and support for LGBT people who are not Mormons. It seems like there are so many conflicts world-wide that could be resolved if there could just be more acceptance of people who believe and think differently from ourselves. If we could all spend more time listening, we could discover how much we have to learn from others. And maybe others would be more willing to listen and learn from us. I think we have some beautiful things to share. But I also think that we have so much to learn. And that there is so much that we just don't know. One of the most important things I learned as a nurse is that I didn't have everything figured out the way I thought I did. I had some incredibly special experiences that sort of lead to a crisis of faith, but I came away from that stronger and with a better understanding of just how much our God loves his children. Homosexuality is something that we really don't understand, and though we are trying, I don't know that it is something we really can understand. Because of that, I think it is important to trust each other. Our 11th Article of Faith says: "We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may." So that is why a Mormon mommy can go to a huge Gay Pride parade and say, "We can have different beliefs and still live together in peace and support each other!" And because I happen to believe that marriage is incredibly important, I want to fight for their right to be married as well.

3. I want there to be more openness among members of our church. There are just a lot of things that we don't talk about. I know how important it was for me to know that I wasn't the only person who thought the way that I did. When I went to Ricks College 14 years ago, that's just the way things were. We didn't talk about anything. And people who did were labeled and made fun of. I remember the girl who everybody knew as "Feminazi" because of the way she dressed and cut her hair and had thoughtful discussions about things. So this budding feminist learned to keep her mouth shut. And so many times when I have wanted to speak up about something that I disagreed with, I was too scared that I would be judged as unworthy somehow. But keeping them to yourself does not make questions and concerns go away. It just makes you feel like you don't belong. I started feeling that way more and more. And I honestly did consider the possibility of leaving. But my Heavenly Father has made it very clear to me that I do belong and that I need to stay. I decided that I needed to just start speaking up. It is still not easy, but it has helped me feel more that I belong and it has also helped me find others who are struggling. It has also been hard. Going to this parade was actually terrifying. Not just because I didn't know anyone there at all or because I have a hard time with crowds, but because I knew that there are people I love that would be upset with me. It was worth it though. Because. . .

4. It just felt like it was the right thing to do. Not just maybe, sorta. But I felt very strongly that it was important for me to be there. If I hadn't felt that, I probably would have talked myself out of it. I don't know anyone who really cared if I was there or not. I just knew, whether it was for myself or someone else, that I had to be at that parade.

So I went and I'm very glad I did.